According to Irwin’s describtion, a person with toxic qualities is abusive, unsupportive, or unhealthy emotionally also someone who basically brings you down more than up.
of which “You may begin to feel dependent on him or her for their opinion, doubting your own,” says Irwin
nevertheless, There are plenty of things toxic people do to manipulate people and situations to their advantage.
Toxic people will be completely lovely one day and the next you’ll be wondering what you’ve done to upset them.
There often isn’t anything obvious reason that will explain the change of attitude.
you just know something isn’t right.
They might be prickly, sad, cold or cranky and when you ask if there’s something wrong, the answer will likely be ‘nothing’ but they’ll give you just enough to let you know that there’s something.
The ‘just enough’ might be a heaving sigh, a raised eyebrow, a cold shoulder.
When this happens, you might find yourself making excuses for them or doing everything you can to make them happy.
See why it works for them?
Stop trying to please them.
Toxic people figured out a long time ago that decent people will go to extraordinary lengths to keep the people they care about happy.
If your attempts to please aren’t working or aren’t lasting for very long, maybe it’s time to stop.
Walk away and come back when the mood has shifted.
You are not responsible for anybody else’s feelings.
If you have done something unknowingly to hurt somebody, ask, talk about it and if need be, apologise.
At any rate, you shouldn’t have to guess.
people have a way of sending out the vibe that you owe them something.
They also have a way of taking from you or doing something that hurts you, then maintaining they were doing it all for you.
This is particularly common in workplaces or relationships where the balance of power is out
. ‘I’ve left that six months’ worth of filing for you.
I thought you’d appreciate the experience and the opportunity to learn your way around the filing cabinets.’
Or, ‘I’m having a dinner party.
Why don’t you bring dinner. For 10. I
t’ll give you a chance to show off those kitchen skills. K?’
You don’t owe anybody anything.
If it doesn’t feel like a favour, it’s not.
They’ll lie before they ever apologise, so there’s no point arguing.
They’ll twist the story, change the way it happened and retell it so convincingly that they’ll believe their own nonsense.
People don’t have to apologize to be wrong.
And you don’t need an apology to move forward.
Just move forward – without them.
Don’t surrender your truth but don’t keep the argument going.
There’s just no point.
Some people want to be right more than they want to be happy and you have better things to do than to provide fodder for the right-fighters.
They’ll find reasons your good news isn’t great news.
The classics: About a promotion – ‘The money isn’t that great for the amount of work you’ll be doing.’
About a holiday at the beach – ‘Well it’s going to be very hot.
Are you sure you want to go?’ About being made Queen of the Universe – ‘Well the Universe isn’t that big you know and I’m pretty sure you won’t get tea breaks.’ Get the idea?
Don’t let them dampen you or shrink you down to their size.
You don’t need their approval anyway – or anyone else’s for that matter.
The message might be innocent enough but the tone conveys so much more.
Something like, ‘What did you do today?’
can mean different things depending on the way it’s said.
It could mean anything from ‘So I bet you did nothing – as usual,’ to ‘I’m sure your day was better than mine.
Mine was awful.
And you didn’t even notice enough to ask.’ When you question the tone, they’ll come back with, ‘All I said was what did you do today,’ which is true, kind of, not really.
These are some reasons and clue to understand a toxic person.
we hope this you understood and grab something out of.
Knowing them will help you to avoid falling under the influence:
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