I think it’s safe to say that we all want to learn the rules of how to be happy in life, simply because we want to find lasting happiness and lead a happier life.
But for most of us, me included, happiness can be so elusive at times.
It’s like something we constantly have to chase after, but no matter what we do, it feels like it’s constantly slipping through our fingers.
For years, I’ve always had the idea that happiness is a fixed end point.
Like a goal I have to reach.
I always assumed that if I found a better job that I loved or achieved all of my goals, I would be happy.
While there’s no denying that achieving these things can definitely bring me happiness, I was wrong to assume that this happiness would last.
I was wrong to think that making my dreams come true would ultimately make me happy.
And most of all, I was wrong in assuming that I had to achieve those things first in order to finally be happy.
Because the reality is that happiness is definitely not a permanent thing, nor is it a goal that we have to achieve.
After hitting the lowest point in my life, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that happiness is a choice.
It’s a mindset, and if we continue to relentlessly pursue it, it will only leave us feeling disappointed and emotionally drained.
Happiness is available to us right here, right now.
While we may not necessarily feel happy at every moment of our lives, it is important to remember that happiness is available to us even at the lowest point in our lives.
I certainly didn’t think it was possible for me to feel happy when I hit rock bottom.
Not when everything around me was falling apart and I was constantly dealing with one problem after another every day.
But I was wrong, because during that time in my life I learned that while we can’t snap our fingers and instantly feel happy, we can take small, easy steps every day to improve our thinking and overall well-being. and help us live a happier life.
In this post, I’m going to share with you some rules for being happy that have drastically changed my life for the better.
I hope this helps bring at least a little light into your dark days.
I motivate myself more.
But it did the opposite.
I just felt worse and honestly, I just felt hopeless and paralyzed with feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
I’ve learned that being grateful isn’t really about invalidating the struggles you’re going through.
Being grateful means realizing that while you are going through hard times, there is still hope and you can still find happiness in the little things.
Practicing daily gratitude has not only helped improve my mental health and happiness, but it has also made me more appreciative of the good things in my life that I so often take for granted, and most importantly, it has helped me find hope even in difficult times.
the definition of a happy and successful life.
Life is too precious to be wasted on someone else’s life.
Allow yourself to finally focus on your own path.
Appreciate your own achievements, big or small, and know that you are enough and worthy just as you are now.
9 Rules for a happier life
1. Let go and just breathe
Are you also guilty of spending so much time and energy trying to control every little detail of your life? I sure am.
I’ve always had this idea that if I control every little thing, I can prevent things from going wrong.
So, that’s what I did.
I put all my attention into focusing on every little detail.
I always had a plan A, B, C, and even D, and I thought that if I had all these things, I could guarantee that everything would go according to my plans.
But of course, that’s not really the case, because the reality is that no matter how much we try to control every little thing in our lives, there are still so many things that can go wrong.
We will never be able to control everything, and constantly spending so much time and energy trying will only lead to more frustration and disappointment.
Remind yourself that it’s perfectly okay to let go and just allow yourself to breathe.
You don’t have to control every aspect of your life.
I’ve learned that when we learn to let go of control, we finally free ourselves from the burden of constantly trying to micromanage every little detail.
We are finally learning to trust ourselves more, embrace uncertainty and know that no matter what comes our way, we are strong enough to handle it.
We have to keep reminding ourselves that one of the rules of being happy is finding the perfect balance between knowing when to take control of what we can control and learning to accept the things we can’t.
2. Focus on your own path
There’s simply no denying that it’s so easy to fall into the comparison trap these days.
It’s so easy to believe that some people lead these perfect lives and that we all have to set the same expectations for ourselves.
Growing up, I was constantly compared to other people by the people I love.
I was forced to believe that in order to be worthy enough, I had to constantly compete with the achievements of others.
Of course, I took this belief with me and held onto it for the longest time, not realizing how miserable I was feeling.
As I slowly hit rock bottom, I finally learned to accept that life is not a competition.
The thing is, when we constantly compare ourselves to other people, we begin to measure our happiness and success based on their standards.
We then find ourselves constantly chasing their standards of how to live, which leads us to feel unfulfilled and dissatisfied with our lives.
Focusing on the paths of others will only distract you from your own path.
You don’t have to continue living your life based on someone else’s definition.
Know that everyone’s journey is unique and there is certainly no universal definition of a happy and successful life.
Life is too precious to be wasted on someone else’s life.
Allow yourself to finally focus on your own path.
Appreciate your own achievements, big or small, and know that you are enough and worthy just as you are now.
3. Practice forgiveness
I know that more often than we like to admit, practicing forgiveness (for ourselves or others) is much easier said than done.
I know how easy it is to allow yourself to hold grudges and grudges.
I am definitely guilty of this.
Growing up, I felt so much resentment towards an important person in my life who made me believe that I was worthless without my accomplishments.
I let that hatred and anger consume me and I carried it with me for years.
It took me a long time to finally realize that by holding onto that anger, I was not only weighing myself down, but hurting myself over and over again.
I know how hard it is to forgive, but the thing that’s really helped me with that is remembering that forgiveness isn’t about minimizing the bad things they’ve done.
It’s about choosing to break free and finally give yourself the space to heal and move forward.
Also remember that forgiveness is not just about forgiving other people.
It’s also about forgiving yourself.
I know how much we love to beat ourselves up over past mistakes and failures, but please know that even though we are human, we all have to make mistakes.
The important thing is to take responsibility and learn from your mistakes.
Just like anyone else, you deserve to be forgiven.
You deserve to be freed from that heavy burden that you have been carrying around for the longest time.
Remember that forgiveness is not just a one-time event.
It will take time, be patient with yourself and remind yourself that forgiveness is a gradual process.
4. Embrace gratitude
Gratitude plays an important role in living a happier and more fulfilled life.
I know how easy it is to get consumed by negativity.
When we are going through hard times, being grateful often seems impossible.
I definitely understand you.
When I’ve struggled in life, finding something to be grateful for seems out of reach.
In fact, when I hit rock bottom, I was consumed by so much negativity that I allowed myself to focus only on everything that was not going well in my life.
I thought that this would make me more responsible and more motivated.
But it did the opposite.
I just felt worse and honestly, I just felt hopeless and paralyzed with feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
I’ve learned that being grateful isn’t really about invalidating the struggles you’re going through.
Being grateful means realizing that while you are going through hard times, there is still hope and you can still find happiness in the little things.
Practicing daily gratitude has not only helped improve my mental health and happiness, but it has also made me more appreciative of the good things in my life that I so often take for granted, and most importantly, it has helped me find hope even in difficult times.
Your life is too precious to spend it on someone else’s. Pretending to be someone we are not exhausting, not to mention mentally and emotionally draining.
It’s time to free yourself from this burden and be true to yourself.
Remember, you don’t need to get someone else’s approval or validation just to have enough.
You are enough and worthy just as you are now, and the only validation you will ever need is your own.
Stop putting on a show and know that you are amazing just the way you are.
Accept yourself wholeheartedly.
Live the life you want and pursue the things that truly make you happy.
Stop wasting your time spending your life miserable and unhappy because you are too busy being someone else and chasing someone else’s approval.
Free your spirit and start living your life authentically.
5. Live one day at a time
Are you also guilty of spending so much time worrying about the future or dwelling on the past?
Most of us are guilty of just living our days trapped by worrying about everything in the future, or we keep replaying events from the past, not realizing that time is passing us by and robbing ourselves of the chance to enjoy every moment our life..
When you live one day at a time, you allow yourself to embrace the present moment. Instead of getting caught up in the past or worrying about the future, you allow yourself to live and enjoy the moment that is unfolding right in front of you.
Learning to take one day at a time will not only help you make your days more meaningful, but it will also take away the feeling of overwhelm you usually feel from worrying too much about tomorrow’s to-do list and uncertainty.
By being present, you can savor every moment of your life, every precious time spent with the people you love, and enjoy every milestone and celebration.
By living one day at a time, you allow yourself the space to find happiness in the present moment, which ultimately leads to a sense of peace and contentment.
6. Set healthy boundaries
Are you constantly overworking yourself? How many times have you said yes to things you originally didn’t want to do because you were so afraid of disappointing others?
I have found myself in the exact same place countless times.
I thought putting the needs of others first was the right thing to do no matter how drained and exhausted I already felt.
So, I did it for years, constantly putting all my needs on the back burner, thinking they weren’t really that important.
But I was wrong again.
Setting boundaries is not selfish.
Just as it is not selfish to prioritize your own needs and well-being. It is a necessity.
When you set healthy boundaries, you not only respect yourself and your needs, but you also make time for the things that really matter to you.
By saying no to things that no longer align with your beliefs and values, you now have time to say yes to things that are important to you and really lift your spirits.
Setting healthy boundaries is a form of self-respect.
It’s not just about doing things for yourself to move forward; it’s about finding the perfect balance between giving and receiving.
It’s about helping other people without extending yourself too far and neglecting your own needs.
Remember that you deserve to respect yourself and have your needs respected, so don’t be afraid to set those boundaries.
7. Hug failures
Are you also afraid of failure and mistakes? I am definitely guilty of this and to be honest, I still struggle with it sometimes.
Growing up, I was conditioned to believe that failure was a bad thing and that failure meant I wasn’t good enough.
So, for the longest time I spent so much time and energy trying to avoid them, but of course that wasn’t possible.
So, every time I fail, I end up hating myself and feeling so worthless.
If you feel the same way, I want you to know that failures and mistakes are not a verdict of your abilities and worth.
Failures don’t mean you’re not good enough.
It’s actually more of a detour, a twist in your journey.
Even though we are human, we all have to fail, and you are no exception.
I learned that fear of failure will only lead to unhappiness and disappointment.
We have to recognize that when things don’t go according to our plans or we don’t achieve our goals, it doesn’t define our abilities.
Failures are actually necessary for us to grow and become the best version of ourselves.
We shouldn’t see it as a dead end, we should see it as an opportunity for growth, a steppingstone to personal development and success.
So accept those failures, learn from them and move on.
Here’s a great post from Psychology Today to help you learn how to embrace failure.
8. Make kindness your superpower
In a world full of hate and anger, be the change and let kindness become your superpower. Life can be challenging and overwhelming and we will truly never know what each of us goes through every day.
Instead of sprinkling hate and anger, let’s offer kindness and compassion everywhere we go.
Being kind not only has a huge impact on your happiness and well-being, but it also has a positive effect.
Remember that kindness doesn’t have to be a big gesture.
No matter how small it may seem, it can make a big difference to other people.
I find that being kind opens our eyes and reminds us how blessed we are in life.
It reminds us to be grateful for the things we have and allows us to find peace in helping to alleviate other people’s problems.
9. Embrace uncertainty
Life will always be full of twists and turns, unexpected surprises and uncertainties, and change will always be a part of it.
I know most of us fear uncertainty and change.
I sure do.
I hate change and I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I chose to stay still, stuck and unhappy instead of making a change because staying still was safe and comfortable for me.
It didn’t matter how miserable I felt.
But I’ve learned that life is too precious to waste by being miserable every day of our lives.
I know that uncertainties can be scary and sometimes overwhelming, but know that when we open ourselves to them, we allow ourselves to grow, learn, and unlock our full potential.
Embracing change and uncertainty allows you to enjoy the journey of life instead of dwelling on things that are out of your control.
Remember that life’s surprises are not always scary, they can often bring unexpected happiness and joy and opportunities for growth and learning.
Final thoughts
Please know that these rules of how to be happy in life are definitely not strict guidelines for happiness, but rather a gentle reminder that I hope will help you get through the difficult times and dark times in your life.
Remember that there is no universal rule for happiness.
We all have our own definition of happiness and ULTIMATELY, it’s your journey.
SO, choose only the ones you think are best for you.
Before I end this post, I want you to know that you have the power within you to create a happy and fulfilled life. Know that happiness is within reach.
I’m rooting for you.
